Expressing gratitude is not only a mark of good manners, but also an essential component of the religious life. Praise and gratitude to God are characteristic of liturgies of all traditions.
In Judaism, these qualities of our relationship with Hashem are encapsulated both in daily prayer and in the regular recitation of various kinds of blessings. The special occasion of the birth of a child is included among those times which call for our acknowledgment to God of gratitude and praise. Halakhic sources recognize the birth of a child as a gift bestowed by Hashem upon the love between a man and a woman. They discuss as well the transformative effect of the birth of a son or a daughter in terms of human purpose, emphasizing especially the role of inheritance, in both its tangible and figurative meanings. This short essay will delineate some of the halakhic analyses and their implications surrounding the recitation of birkot hoda’ah (blessings of praise) upon the birth of a child.1
When a woman gives birth to a baby boy, both parents are required to recite a birkat hoda’ah called “hatov vehametiv.” The blessing states, “Blessed are You our God, King of the universe, Who is good and does good,” or “Who does good [for me] and causes good [for others].”2 Each is required to recite the blessing even if, as might occur, they are separated when the father hears the news. The mother recites the blessing at the completion of delivery; the father, if he is not with her, whenever and wherever he hears the news.3 Even if the couple already has several sons, each must still recite the blessing upon the birth of another baby boy.4
Rabbinic sources state that only the parents may say this blessing upon the occasion of the birth, since they have hana’at to’elet (the pleasure of a benefit or advantage from a son).5 The benefit is that he is a yoresh, i.e., he inherits from the parents. The blessing of hatov vehametiv is made only in cases where the benefit is a shared one. In 1982, for instance, when I co-organized the first Women’s Tefillah Group for Simhat Torah in Detroit, our posek said we should recite hatov vehametiv. In the case of a newborn, the benefit is shared by the mother and father, and the object that causes the blessing to be made, namely the child, leads to a practical advantage for those making the blessing. Here the benefit is to have an inheritor, one who by virtue of his maleness will gain the family property and is obligated to recite kaddish after their deaths.
But what is the rabbinic text implying? Is it affirming an advantage in the utility of having male progeny because of the laws of inheritance? The case is unclear. Despite inequities in the laws of inheritance due to the structure of a tribal and patriarchal society, widows and unmarried daughters always had first claim on any estate in the event of the death of the husband/father.6 The text points beyond property per se to mean property in the cultural sense. That is, since the daughter will become part of another family through marriage, the family legacy, in terms of name and public role, remains with the sons. Reciting the blessing then, is acknowledgment of the importance of continuing the family traditions and legacy through the sons, who would continue to carry the family name in the community.
There are some provisos given in the halakhic literature, however, regarding the recitation of hatov vehametiv. After stating that the parents must say the blessing for the reason “sheyesh lahem hana’at to’elet meben–they have the pleasure of a practical benefit from a son,”7 the Encyclopedia Talmudit continues, “ve’od–in addition.” The appearance of this term in halakhic texts, similar to Rashi’s stating in his biblical commentary, “vedavar acher– and another matter”, indicates that the first reason given is incomplete in some way, needing an additional support to clarify and validate the halakhic ruling. And what is the “ve’od”? The text in Encyclopedia Talmudit states,“Ve’od, shehu kayerekh ha’av veha’em. Kol adam te’avim lo leyorshon–In addition, he [the baby boy] is the progeny, the seed of the father and mother, and all persons desire successors or heirs.”8 This clarification can be seen either as supporting or detracting from the original ruling. It is supportive in that it emphasizes the human desire to continue oneself through one’s children. But it weakens the conclusion that a blessing must be said only upon the birth of a baby boy because the need for succession arguably supersedes any gender boundaries.9 While the original ruling restricts the recitation of hatov vehametiv to the birth of a baby boy, given the circumstances of our culture and our modern sensibilities, the halakha can and should be extended to include the birth of girls and hatov vehametiv should be said upon the birth of a baby girl. Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks cites Rabbi Nachum Rabinovitch, Rosh yeshiva of Birkat Moshe in Ma’ale Adumim, as approving the recitation of hatov vehametiv on the birth of a baby girl. He writes, “If both the father and mother are delighted at the birth of a daughter–if it is good for oneself and for others–they make the blessing hatov vehametiv.”10
The blessing of shehehiyanu was also originally restricted to male infants, although there were rabbinic authorities who amplified the ruling. This blessing thanks God “who has granted us life, sustained us, and permitted us to reach this season” and is both a birkat hoda’ah (blessing of praise)–as is hatov vehametiv–as well as a birkat zeman (a blessing that notes a special time interval and/or a particular occasion).11 It is recited, for example at the yearly celebration of the three pilgrimage festivals, the wearing of new clothing, or the eating of a new fruit. Many sources suggest that both the mother and father should recite shehehiyanu after the birth of a daughter, as well as following the birth of a son. The Mishna Berura states that even though it is not required that either blessing be recited after a girl is born, when a father sees his new daughter for the first time, he should nevertheless say shehehiyanu. According to the Mishna Berura, since the blessing is recited upon seeing a good friend one has not seen for a least thirty days, one surely can proclaim shehehiyanu upon seeing one’s newborn daughter for the very first time!12
As in the cases of kaddish and birkat hagomel, 13 some halakhic rulings have begun to incorporate a changed sensibility—the perspective of woman as autonomous, a public person and worthy of both honor and dignity—in considering how to welcome the arrival of a new female member of klal Yisrael. May each infant girl be blessed in all ways–with both appropriate berakhot—by her loving parents.