In the synagogue in which I grew up the senior rabbi had a custom. Every year he would host a number of informal get-togethers in his home for men. During the evening he would obtain their pledges to the shul’s annual campaign. The year my father died, my mother got a call inviting her to the rabbi’s home. “No,” she replied. “You didn’t know I existed when my husband was alive and you can forget me now.” That was almost 30 years ago.
This year I wanted to double our giving to an institution that I believe in. Furthermore, the head of the institution had been extremely helpful to us on a personal level. My husband did not want to take on another large commitment. Sometimes he has to convince me. This time I persevered and finally convinced him. The first e-mail we received from the institution opened with “Shalom, Mel.” The more things change, the more they stay the same.
This issue of our JOFA Journal is about women and giving. Last yearI went to a parlor meeting organized by The Jewish Women’s Foundation.Two thingsstood out. One was that there are more women than ever who control large amounts of money.Two, men seem, on the whole, to give more impersonally, supporting large institutions such as their universities, while women’s philanthropy tends to be more personal, giving to causes where the impact of their money is much more immediate.
You will read some wonderful articles. Zelda Stern writes about how we give. She gives good advice on how to check to see that basic tenets of each organization we give to match our beliefs. Giti Bendheim reminds us not to forget our community needs as our giving expands. Sally Gottesman exhorts women with economic means to use their power to create change, and Blu Greenberg gives a wonderful historical perspective on American Orthodox philanthropic and service organizations. And there is so much more.
But philanthropy is not just about money. There are extraordinary women in many communities giving of their time and ingenuity and helping to make a real difference. This summer I observed young women in the Syrian community and watched how hard they worked, and how brilliantly, to raise money for food kitchens to help the needy in Israel. There are women who have created bikkur cholim organizations, who hand out Shabbat packages to those in need, who help brides and do so many other wonderful things.
I once read a story about a rich man who was constantly being asked to give money for different causes. He became angry at people calling and knocking at his door all the time.
Then one day he was reading Tehillim, Psalm 23, and came across the verse: “Surely goodness and kindness shall pursue me all the days of my life…” He realized how blessed he was to have the means to help so many people and for this he was being pursued.
May we all be pursued to do good. May we each answer the call in our own way. And may we all merit being a part of tikkun olam.