Schools were once evaluated based on their ability to deliver the three “Rs”: “reading, writing, and ’rithmetic.” In recent years, however, schools have come to realize that they need to focus on a fourth “R”– resilience. Educators now understand that they must play a role in helping raise emotionally resilient young people who can cope with life’s challenges, feel comfortable with themselves, and attain the requisite interpersonal skills to succeed. Our yeshivot and day schools are no exception. Despite the demands of our dual curricula, many schools have added classes that focus on social-emotional issues, including the topic of body image.
Body image education is the responsibility of the school because much of children’s self-image develops within the social environment in which they live. Research indicates that cultural factors, at times combined with genetic and personality predispositions, are an overwhelming component of body image difficulties. Children spend most of their day surrounded by the intense body image pressures of the culture and the social environment of schools (e.g., to dress like the other students, to have a figure similar to what is expected in their community or school, to have athletic bodies and talents).
In fact, many of our schools already educate students about the changes of puberty, helping them understand the physical and emotional changes they are going through: self-image education must be a piece of that curriculum. In Jewish schools, we have the opportunity to teach the concept of tzelem elokim, that we have all been created and modeled on the image of God, and to emphasize the holiness of the guf (body) that God has granted us.
Moreover, body image is an issue that often interferes with a child’s ability to learn. Students who are self-conscious and worry about their size, weight, and body are preoccupied, anxious, have low self-esteem, and are distracted from learning. Therefore addressing body image issues and challenges should yield educational benefits.
What is the goal of a curriculum focused on body image? Although we trust the curriculum will serve to prevent eating disorders, a more global goal is that our children will grow up with higher self-esteem. It can minimize the dissatisfaction that many have with their bodies, which often leads to depression, yo-yo dieting, and unhealthy choices.
The groundwork for such a program should be laid in preschool, at which point subjects such as self-esteem, diversity, and acceptance should be introduced. In fact, eating habits and body image issues begin to develop at that early age. Several years ago, I worked at a school in which nursery school students were requesting skim milk so they wouldn’t “get fat.” It is much easier to help younger students develop positive body images than to reverse negative ones. After its initial introduction in preschool, the crux of the body image curriculum should be implemented in late elementary school or the middle school years. This is the time most children enter their pubescent “growth spurt” and are deeply affected by their appearance.
An effective body image curriculum has several components. 1 In general, such curricula should be dynamic and experiential and should teach positive rather than negative lessons. Students must be helped to realize that puberty ushers in an array of physical and hormonal changes. For example, girls tend to gain weight during puberty, which is often frustrating, given that adolescence is the time when many girls become obsessed about losing weight. Between the ages of 10 and 14, developing girls can gain as much as 20 pounds in one year. Girls need to know that it is normal and healthy for them to gain that weight. Teachers should stress the importance of healthy eating habits and exercise and make it clear that, by making good choices, students will be able to avoid dieting, which is not usually successful in the long term.
It is also essential to help students develop realistic expectations about their appearance and to teach them to make the best of the bodies they have. Students need to develop a strong sense of self based on aspects other than the physical. Teachers should stress that our external appearance is only one aspect of who we are. It is also important to discuss how we choose our role models and how students can choose realistic and positive ones that reflect their values. The issue of role models is one that affects not only body image but also how our students choose which lifestyles to emulate. This is a perfect opportunity to have a frank discussion with students about how our Jewish values differ from what they see on TV, movies, and in the media. What is a role model in Judaism? What characteristics do we admire? Through learning about heroes and heroines in the Tanakh and presenting them as real people, students can find that the Torah can be a source for role models. As part of this discussion students can be taught to evaluate the extent to which the images they see in the media are unrealistic and create unfair expectations. It is hoped that this discussion will make them less vulnerable to the messages that bombard them.
Despite the importance of tackling these issues, schools may face several difficulties in setting up programs that address them. Many day school administrators believe it is nearly impossible to add another program to a day that seems filled to capacity. And although research indicates that an in-house staff member is more effective in implementing such a curriculum, many schools do not necessarily have faculty members who are equipped to do so. That role requires somebody who is sufficiently well versed in these areas and who is able to engage with and connect with the students effectively. It is also preferable for the instructor to have a deep knowledge of the Judaic perspective on body image and a sensitivity to the cultural issues of the community.
In addition, some maintain that a school program focusing on body image cannot combat the pressures students face outside of the school environment – community norms, family life, and the media – and would therefore be ineffective. In response to this concern, I would argue that educators have the power to speak directly to students about this reality and to help them understand how they can stay true to themselves despite external pressures. In addition, we are hopeful that we are raising a generation of parents who will be more sensitive to these issues as they raise their children.
Those of us who have worked to develop this programming continue to improve and fine-tune it. However, some areas still need significantly more attention, including teaching boys about body image. Although not to the same extent as girls, boys feel significant pressure from the media and culture to be well built, tall, and slim. Research clearly indicates that the number of boys who are dissatisfied with their bodies has risen dramatically in recent years. Body image education is thus essential for boys as well, although their curriculum should be designed somewhat differently, which means separate-gendered classes for this topic would be most effective.
Another area of education that is imperative for boys involves their often unrealistic expectations of what girls “should” look like. I will not discuss here how these expectations affect shiddukhim. However, even earlier in their lives, middle school and high school girls are aware that boys comment on their bodies – both to them and behind their backs. Girls are deeply affected by the way they are perceived by boys, who must be taught to treat girls and women with respect, rather than objectifying them. This topic can be related to both biblical and talmudic themes. For example, classes can focus on the kinds of relationships that male characters in the Tanakh had with the women in their lives. Was there an intellectual relationship independent of the physical? If the women were described physically (e.g., “yefat to’ar viyfat mareh-of beautiful form and fair to look upon” as Rachel is described), what does that mean in a given context? How does the Torah feel about women and their role as physical beings? These are all important issues that students can and should consider as they mature.
Schools can take an interdisciplinary approach toward helping children think about body image issues. Science and literature classes are natural places to discuss these images. In Jewish day schools, another natural place is in Limmudei Kodesh classes. For example, in a halakha class one can explore the issue of “V’nishmartem me’od l’nafshoteikhem” (Deut.4:15) – staying healthy and protecting one’s body. Discussion of the halakhot that prohibit self-mutilation would also be relevant and underscore that we are commanded to treat our bodies with respect. Kevod hamet, the centrality of even treating the body of the dead with respect, is another value that can illustrate the point. Teachers in Tanakh or Jewish philosophy classes can introduce topics such as vanity and the balance between looking good and caring too much about one’s looks. Self-esteem and “bishvili nivra ha’olam – for my sake the world was created” versus “anokhi afar va’efer – I am but dust and ashes” are at the crux of body image, whereas being happy with the way God created one’s body is an attitude that underlies positive body image – “she’asani kirtzono – who made me according to His will.” All of these topics revolve around our being created b’tzelem elokim.
Conversations we have with students about tzniut – for both boys and girls – are an essential part of the curriculum. However, the focus on tzniut should not be rule-based, but instead should reinforce the notion that who we are within is more important than how we look on the outside. What does dressing in a provocative manner say about an individual’s self-esteem? For girls, how does that behavior reinforce the notion that girls are to be objectified? In my view, tzniut is about self-respect and respect for our bodies. In addition, tzniut is not just about dress; it is about how we behave and about attitude. It is also about our relationship with God.
In addition to identifying faculty who can introduce and implement body image lessons, we need to focus more on general teacher training in the area of body image. Teachers and coaches exert significant influence on adolescents. However, they themselves may often lack sensitivity to these problems, or be unsure how to help the children with whom they work. By conducting in-service professional development classes for teachers and coaches, we can increase their awareness of growing body image disorders.
Schools must also take issues of verbal harassment more seriously. Teasing another child about his or her body – the typical “locker room” banter – is not acceptable. Intervening to prevent this harassment also creates a teachable moment for focusing on body image.
Parents can and must be advocates for programming in the area of body image. In fact, it was a partnership between determined parents and the administration at my school that helped bring more social and emotional programming to the curriculum. Parents need to assert that these issues are just as important to them as is their children’s academic progress, and they should be included on committees that work to initiate such programs.
Ideally, there should also be a parent component to this endeavor: parent education is critically important. As parents, we need to make the effort to attend these workshops – to educate ourselves and send the message to the schools that we care. There should also be communication between school and parents about what is being taught, so that parents can expand on the discussion at home.
All of these aspects of a body image curriculum help target the fourth “R” – resilience. Educators and parents must join together to raise resilient children who realize that, as the author Kathy Kater states, “Who I am” is more important than “How I look” – a message consistent with and championed by Torah values.