I am excited to be sending out my first letter to you as the President of JOFA. I truly believe that we are on the cusp of a new day in women’s leadership in the Orthodox world, and it is energizing to be a part of it. I took on the role of President because I know that an Orthodoxy that expands women’s roles to the fullest extent possible is one that is stronger and more vibrant for all of its members, men and women. And I think it is so appropriate that this issue is dedicated to education, which is such a core part of our mission.
I have thought a great deal about how to instill a love of learning into my children. What will inspire them to love text and its relationship to our tradition? For me, learning is one of the most powerful hooks into our way of life—the intellectual challenge, the surprising twists of logic, the methodical laying out of one proof after another all excite me. How can I open my children’s hearts and minds to that excitement?
One commentary on the story of the Four Sons in the Haggadah is about needing to find ways to instruct all different types of children. Hanokh la-na’ar al pi darko (Proverbs 22:6): “Train a child according to his way.” As a parent, I am frequently looking for what will work for each of my kids—not only because they are different ages and different sexes, but also because of how they think and what interests them. What will be that hook?
But I don’t always get it right. I had always envisioned celebrating my eldest daughter’s Bat Mitzvah by learning with her over a period of time and having a siyyum at the end. I had long had a passion for learning Mishnah, and I thought Mishnah would be appropriate for Ricki’s skill level. So we started. We learned Rosh Hashanah, we learned Megillah, we learned Ta’anit. Or perhaps I shouldn’t say we learned. We were in the same room, reading the same words, but it was a very one-way conversation. Much as Ricki wanted to be a good daughter, she was just not interested. What animated me was of minimal interest to her. My vision of a siyyum was exactly that—my vision. I needed to change my focus. More than wanting her to learn, I wanted her to love to learn—to have the passion for learning that sparks an ongoing engagement with what it means to be Jewish. Even more so, I needed it to be her vision, not mine. Wasn’t that the point of a Bat Mitzvah—grappling with Judaism on her own terms? So we stopped learning together. We found a teacher who learned with her about something Ricki was passionate about—vegetarianism. Her Bat Mitzvah was beautiful and, more importantly, the spark was lit inside her.
As a community, I think we also are looking for educational options. One of the topics that has roiled my community in Teaneck this year is the planned opening of a charter school for Hebrew immersion in our district. Another related topic is that of day school tuition and how to find innovative ways of tackling this as a community. A third is the move toward genderseparated classes within coed schools. How gender interplays with how kids learn has been a hot topic in the secular world as well. As my son approaches his Bar Mitzvah this fall, the question of how we can educate our boys to be gender-sensitive resonates as well.
How do you make your voice heard within your community and your school? One of my pet peeves is the role of the Shabbat abba and Shabbat imma. While I recognize that in many households the mother lights candles and the father recites kiddush, there are many other permutations that our kids should see as “normal.” Thus, every year I go back to preschool, ready with my reasons for a more gender-neutral Shabbat party. Maybe one day I won’t have to ask.
Education extends beyond the day schools. Many of the programs we have been running at JOFA this year target adults as well. Let me touch on three of them. We launched a campus fellowship program with seven young women who ran programs across the country at their campuses. We ran our second Kallah Teachers’ Workshop to train kallah teachers how to answer the questions of new and not-so-new brides. And we are about to launch our new halakhic source guide, A Daughter’s Recitation of Kaddish.
I hope you have all been enjoying a summer full of learning. We have made many strides in expanding learning opportunities for women and by women, in increasing gender sensitivity in the schools and the pulpits, in opening doors that were previously closed— but there are many more to go before we will be able to fully realize JOFA’s goals and vision. Thank you for joining me on the journey.