Editor’s Note
While Shabbat has traditionally been shaped by community and family, for many women it is also a deeply personal and individual experience. Shabbat celebration can vary for women depending on stage of life, family situation, economic, social and geographic factors.
The personal experiences chronicled in this Journal offer different perspectives from individual women attempting to maximize the beauty and spirituality of Shabbat. Many of them note that their views and priorities have shifted over time, adjusting to life changes. We believe that these different voices will resonate with many of you. Their stories will help all of us to understand the varied and changing landscape of contemporary Orthodox Jewish life and the central role that Shabbat continues to play in it.
Modern life presents countless challenges and opportunities for the Orthodox woman. For example, a rebbetzin’s role is often far different today than it was in the past. In addition to juggling family and communal responsibilities on Shabbat, many wives of rabbis today are also full-time professionals. In general, women today face the challenge of trying to streamline Shabbat preparation while still maintaining important values such as hakhnasat orhim (welcoming of guests) and balancing the need for time with family and friends. In an increasing number of families, husbands and wives divide Shabbat preparations and Shabbat child care. Whereas historically, women’s lives on Shabbat were largely focused within the home, many women now expect to be able to attend shul regularly on Shabbat, take active roles in their congregations and participate in Shabbat learning groups. There are also women who work as professional religious leaders with extensive Shabbat responsibilities, including congregational interns and madrikhot ruhaniyot (spiritual mentors). There are even a number of young couples where both husband and wife serve as religious leaders in two different institutions. Many of these modern situations are taking us into uncharted waters, and, only in the years to come, will we learn how they affect the observance and personal meaning of Shabbat for Orthodox Jewish women.
We would love to hear about your own personal Shabbat experiences. Please send them to jofa@jofa.org and we will devote space to publishing these in a future issue.
Drisha Arts Fellowship
In this issue, we are pleased to present images of works by a number of Drisha Arts Fellows. The artists include Heather Stoltz, Carol Hamoy, Rena Bannett and Samantha Verrone. We also include a piece on the challenges of trying to combine life as an Orthodox Jew and a career as a professional dancer by Anna Schon who was a Drisha Arts Fellow last year. The program’s current director is Eve Grubin whose work was featured in our Arts issue of the Journal (Summer 2006). Now in its third year, the Drisha Arts Fellowship has 19 full and parttime fellows for 2008/9. In its program the fellows, who come from a range of diverse backgrounds in Jewish learning, select Drisha classes appropriate to their level, and join together in an Artist’s Beit Midrash class each week to enrich their work by engaging with Jewish texts. During the year, each artist has opportunities to present her work to the entire Drisha community and discuss how her learning has found its way into her art.
Drisha is now accepting applications from women who are artists (writers, performers, musicians, and visual artists) who would like to receive an Arts Fellowship to study at Drisha. Please visit www.drisha.org or email egrubin@drisha.org for more information.
Women and Se’udah Shlishit
The third meal of Shabbat, se’udah shlishit, is often the one that women skip. But the obligation for s’eudah shlishit is equal to that of the other two meals of Shabbat. Women are obligated in all the positive (as well as the negative) mitzvot of Shabbat equally with men, including that of eating three meals (Shulhan Arukh OH 291:6.) The root of the obligation of se’udah shlishit is the commandment in Exodus 16:25 regarding the manna in the wilderness, “And Moses said, Eat it today, for today is Shabbat to the Lord, today you shall not find it in the fields.” Tractate Shabbat 117b draws from the threefold repetition of the word “hayom” (today) that there is an obligation to eat three meals on Shabbat.
In the 19th century, the Arukh Hashulhan observed that women did not pay attention to the obligation of se’udah shlsihit and said this should be remedied. As Sari Horowitz’s article makes clear, participating in a se’udah shlishit with its relaxed atmosphere, songs, learning, and conversation can a very meaningful experience. Because one is usually not so hungry at se’udah shlishit, there is less emphasis on food and more on “togetherness” and the connections between participants. Some maintain that as the Friday night meal represents Creation and the Shabbat lunch meal represents Revelation, so the third meal embodies the themes of Redemption and Unity, presaging a future of unity between all Jews, and in the world as a whole.
Havdalah
Most halakhic authorities maintain that havdalah is obligatory for women. The extent of women’s obligation in havdalah and whether they may make havdalah for themselves and others are subjects of dispute. The subject of women and havdalah will be addressed in a future Ta Shma, JOFA’s comprehensive halakhic source guide series.
Ladino Havdalah Song
Sephardi women through the centuries traditionally prayed and sang in Ladino. This song, translated by Vanessa Paloma, was sung by women to mark havdalah. We note that many Hassidic women have the tradition of reciting the Yiddish prayer “Gott fun Avraham” ascribed to Levi Yitzhak of Berdichev, three times before havdalah to assure blessings for the coming week.
Buena semana mos de El Dio!
Buena semana mos de El Dio,
alegres y sanos.
Para mis hijos biendecir,
que me los deje El Dio vivir,
buena semana.
Buena semana mos de El Dio,
alegres y sanos.
Para fadar y cercusir
para poner los tefilim,
buena semana.
Buena semana mos de El Dio,
alegres y sanos.
A nuestros padres bien honrar,
para los novios alegrar,
buena semana.
Buena semana mos de El Dio,
alegres y sanos.
Nuestra Torah venerar,
Yerushalayim ensalzar,
buena semana.
Buena semana mos de El Dio,
buena semana.
May God give us a good week,
May God give us a good week,
with happiness and health.
A week to bless my children
that God give them life, a good week.
May God give us a good week,
with happiness and health.
A week to name girls and circumcise,
to start to don tefillin,
a good week.
May God give us a good week,
with happiness and health.
A week to greatly honor our parents,
to give joy to those in love,
a good week.
May God give us a good week,
with happiness and health.
A week to venerate our Torah,
to praise Jerusalem,
a good week.
May God give us a good week,
a good week.
Excerpted from Leora Tanenbaum with Vanessa Paloma, “Orthodox Women’s Private Prayers” in Pray Tell: A Hadassah Guide to Jewish Prayer. Copyright: Hadassah, The Women’s Zionist Organization of America, Inc.
Miriam’s Well
A ccording to Midrashic tradition, God created ten things at twilight before the first Shabbat. One of these was a well that would belong to those, like Abraham, who knew how to draw up its pure water. After the Exodus, the well reappeared in the merit of Miriam—as the manna was in the merit of Moses and the Cloud of Glory in the merit of Aaron—because she waited by the Nile to protect her brother Moses who had been hidden in the water, and later sang at the crossing of the Red Sea. The well, which had healing powers, traveled with the Israelites in the desert. When Miriam died, the well disappeared, but it was believed that it was only hidden and will emerge at the time of the Messiah. Many kabbalists maintained that the well continues to exist in the depths of Lake Kinneret. Medieval writers wrote that Miriam’s well is the source of all the water in the world and that on Motzei Shabbat, its water moves around from stream to stream and from well to well. Because of this, a custom— noted by many including the Rema and Shulhan Arukh Harav (written by the first Rabbi of Lubavitch)—developed to draw water before or after havdalah and to drink it in order to access the healing powers of Miriam’s well. As water is traditionally associated with Torah, Kabbalists such as the Ari also considered this custom to be a segulah (omen) for acquiring Torah wisdom and spiritual regeneration. Some Hassidim believe that when Jews sing on Saturday night, the well itself will reappear as a sign of Redemption. Just as many people now incorporate Miriam into the Passover seder through Miriam’s cup or a special food on the seder plate, so one can include the remembrance of her well into Saturday evening rituals by taking water from the tap and sipping it.
Melaveh Malka
As we welcome the Shabbat in with ceremony, so we bid farewell to Shabbat with a special meal on Saturday evening after havdalah. This meal, also sometimes called the se’udah of King David, is generally known as a melaveh malka – accompanying the Queen Shabbat as she departs until the next week. As we are told to personally accompany all guests when they leave our house, so we are enjoined to accompany the Shabbat Queen to show our respect and appreciation. It is the way to extend some of the unique holiness and joy of Shabbat into the everyday reality of the week. The additional soul, the neshama yeteira, traditionally given to every Jew for the duration of Shabbat, is said not to leave until after the melaveh malka ends. Participating in a melaveh malka is not obligatory but it is considered meritorious for both men and women. It is known that the Vilna Gaon was very careful that his wife should always eat melaveh malka after Shabbat. Other rabbis wrote that for a pregnant woman, eating malaveh malka is a segulah (good omen) for a healthy pregnancy.
Loaves of Bread Before Shabbat
To avoid embarrassment because of their poverty, the wife of Rabbi Hanina ben Dosa had the habit of lighting her oven and throwing twigs into it to make smoke in order that people might think she was baking bread and cakes every Friday even though they had no flour. She had a malicious neighbor who said to herself, “I know that these people have nothing. What then is the meaning of all this smoke?” So she went and knocked on the door. The wife of Rabbi Hanina ben Dosa was ashamed and hid herself in the barn. A miracle happened and when the neighbor came in, she saw that the oven was filled with loaves of bread and the kneading trough full of dough. She called out to her, “Come quickly and bring your shovel to take the bread out of your oven. It is getting burned.” Rabbi Hanina’s wife responded, “I am coming at once. I just went to fetch my shovel.” (A Tanna taught: She had actually gone to fetch the shovel because she was accustomed to miracles).
Story from Babylonian Talmud Ta’anit 24b-25a
The Judenstern
Halakha tells us nothing about the structure or design of Shabbat lamps. Although we talk generically about “candle lighting,” Shabbat lights were not always candles or candelabra. In the ancient world, clay bowls were probably used as oil lamps, and some had more than one spout for multiple wicks. It is thought that hanging lamps developed in the Middle Ages from the simple hanging bowl. These hanging lamps were found in the homes of both European Jews and non-Jews, although Jews also used them for ritual lighting on Shabbat and holidays.
By the 16th century, non-Jews no longer used these lamps in their homes, switching to wax candles. Yet, the hanging lamp continued to be used in Jewish homes and came to be known as the Judenstern or Jewish star. Made of bronze or cast brass, the Judenstern had a star-shaped container for wicks with oil suspended from a shaft and a drip pan below to catch the dripping fuel. Often the lamp hung over the dining table, suspended by a ratchet that could be raised and lowered. All week it would hang close to the ceiling; for Shabbat it would be lowered.
In the 17th and 18th centuries, in Jewish communities in Germany, Italy, Holland, and England one could find very elaborate hanging lamps made of silver and some made of pewter. Yet, the basic form of the lamp remained unchanged.
Candlesticks began to be used in Jewish homes in the 17th century and for a long time it seems that families would light both candlesticks and hanging lamps for Shabbat.
Images of hanging lamps are found in German medieval manuscripts, and later, we see their prevalence in many illustrated books of Jewish customs printed in Ashkenazi communities. Even in the nineteenth century, all the paintings of domestic scenes by the celebrated painter Moritz Oppenheim show hanging lamps. The earliest hanging lamps that we are sure were owned by Jews date from the 17th century. However, one in the Jewish Museum in New York dates from the 14th century and was found in the Jewish quarter of a city near Cologne in Germany, although Jewish ownership cannot be confirmed. Another one, now in the Cathedral of the German city of Erfurt, is decorated with biblical scenes (all from the Hebrew Bible) and dates from the 12th century; some believe it could be a Sabbath lamp. Similarly, a copper alloy hanging lamp, found in an area of London where Jews lived before the 1290 Expulsion, was recently identified as a Sabbath lamp.
For a study of hanging lamps see Hanging Sabbath Lamps by Adi Dermer née Blumberg z’l based on her senior project at Pelech High School in Jerusalem in 1989, ( by Adi Blumberg, translated and edited by Ariel Hurwich Braun, Jerusalem: The Adi Foundation, 2001/2005).
The Tzena U’Rena of Our Foremothers
Beginning in the 17th century, Ashkenazi women traditionally studied a text called Tzena U’rena on Shabbat afternoon and would read it to their children. In many memoirs, individuals wrote of the tremendous impact that this text had on their religious development and knowledge.
Taking its title from the Song of Songs (3:11), which enjoins the daughters of Zion “to go out and see,” the Tzena U’rena was a Yiddish translation of the Pentateuch, haftarot, and Five Megillot with midrashic and aggadic interpretations. Written by Yaakov ben Yitzhak Ashkenazi, the earliest existing printed edition dates from Basel in 1622. The text was reprinted more than 200 times in Yiddish and translated into other languages. It was immensely popular, becoming known as the “Woman’s Bible,” and many women claimed it as their encyclopedia of Jewish knowledge. Through this work, Jewish women (and many men) who could not read Hebrew or Aramaic came to be familiar with midrashim, commentaries such as that of the 13th century Rabbeinu Bahya, kabbalistic works, and many other traditional Jewish texts. From the end of the 17th through the 18th century, many editions of the Tzena U’rena were printed with woodcut illustrations, which were intended to help women understand the meaning of the stories.
Thankfully, we are way past the time when we need pictures to explain the meaning of biblical stories. Whereas in the past, only a few women had access to the original texts of our tradition, in contemporary society all Jewish women have access to the multiplicity of our texts, both in the original Hebrew and Aramaic and in the many available translations and scholarly editions. Today we have the added benefit of internet resources, which are growing exponentially in number. Now women – both those with strong textual skills who have had the benefit of a good Jewish education and those to whom the sources are less familiar – can fix times for learning on Shabbat, through individual study and in shiurim and learning groups. In this way we can continue the tradition of our foremothers and enhance the holiness and joy of Shabbat.
Birkat Habanot
The traditional blessing for parents to give to their sons on Friday night is, “May God make you like Ephraim and Menashe (the two sons of Joseph) and for girls, “May God make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah. Rabbi Yehuda Henkin, a distinguished halakhic authority in Jerusalem, uses a different blessing for girls. Dissatisfied with the traditional blessing because it is not parallel to that of the boys, he states that in the case of voluntary blessings there is no halakhic problem in changing the wording. We do not bless the boys that they should be like the Three Patriarchs (In Hebrew it is also not exactly parallel grammatically either.) Because of this, he substitutes “Yesimekh Otakh Elokim k’Rachel ukh’Leah asher banu shtehem et Beit Yisrael–May God make you like Rachel and Leah who together built the house of Israel.”
This is based on Megillat Ruth, 4:11, “All the people who were at the gate said, with the elders as witnesses: ‘May Elokim grant that the women who enter your house be like Rachel and like Leah who both built the house of Israel.’”
According to Rabbi Henkin, there is no reason given why boys are blessed to be like Ephraim and Menashe, but he posits that it is probably because they lived together in harmony unlike previous generations of brothers in Genesis. Although the Torah records bitterness between Rachel and Leah, the Midrash asserts that Rachel revealed her personal signs of identification to Leah to enable her sister to be married first. Together with their maidservants Bilhah and Zilpah, they became the mothers of Bnei Yisrael.
Candle Lighting Practices
The ritual of candle lighting, although incumbent on both men and women, has historically been associated with women. Visual evidence for women’s role is found in illustrations from early periods. In Eastern Europe, women’s tombstones were traditionally engraved with images of Shabbat lights or candles, sometimes accompanied by a woman’s hands blessing them. Today, candle lighting is a mitzvah observed by many women who do not observe other religious rituals. While many married women now share in kiddush and hamotzi at the Shabbat table, few are willing to give up being the one to light the candles.
Some sources characterize women’s candle lighting as a rectification – a tikkun – for Eve’s sin: just as the biblical figure diminished the light of the world through her sin in the Garden of Eden, women can return light to the world through lighting Shabbat candles. But there is another way to view candle lighting.
Those looking at candle lighting as a reward can turn to kabbalistic sources that view women as the bearers of life and light to the world. As Shabbat itself is a remembrance of creation, zekher lema’asei bereishit, so a woman lighting Shabbat candles reenacts God’s creation of the first light – the ohr haganuz. Through the generations, the woman has traditionally been seen as the Shabbat Queen, bringing light and Torah into her house and into the world. When a woman lights candles on earth, candles are kindled in the divine realm, symbolizing the union and harmony between heaven and earth that is achieved on Shabbat. Thus, the time of candle lighting is considered a very personal and auspicious time, appropriate for expressing innermost feelings. There exist numerous individual and personal prayers from diverse Jewish communities to be recited at this time. Women saying these prayers often declared that their mitzvah of candle lighting was equivalent to that of the High Priest in the Temple. Before lighting, many have the custom of putting coins into a tzedakah box. After lighting, one covers one’s eyes in order not to enjoy the lights until the berakha is recited.
Although the mitzvah of candle lighting can be fulfilled with one candle, as this traditionally would enable oneg Shabbat, the enjoyment of Shabbat, we generally light two or more candles. Indeed, once one lights a certain number as a norm, one should continue lighting that number and not light less. Lighting two candles has several meanings. The two candles represent the two versions of the biblical commandment, “to remember the Shabbat “and to “keep the Shabbat,” or, according to Kabbalah, the masculine and feminine aspects of God’s creation; some early sources suggested that one candle is to illuminate the home and the other to honor Shabbat.
Some women light more than two candles. Some mothers light one candle for every member of the family. Some light six to represent the days of the week leading up to Shabbat, and others light seven corresponding to all the days of the week. The ten wicks on the ceramic Libyan Sabbath lamp on this page were said to represent the Ten Commandments; others light 12 lights representing the 12 tribes.
There is a practice that if one forgets to light candles on any Friday evening, one should increase the number of candles ever after. Yet, this practice seems to relate to the notion of candle lighting as a punishment or as a rectification – hardly to the joy and feeling of specialness that most women feel when lighting.