It is incredibly easy to start a group on Facebook. A few clicks of the mouse, a name and an icon, maybe a picture selected for the top of the page, and there you have it. I did this myself one night, upon the realization that I had a few friends with similar interests, and unwittingly created something amazing. The name I gave this group was “Teenage Orthodox Feminists”; since September, it has been my great joy to participate in fascinating discussions with other interested people my age on an almost-daily basis. The membership of the group has grown from seven on the first night to more than eighty-five as of this writing.
Since I am from “out of town,” and thus am not often around peers who share my ideas enough to have an articulate discussion, the group has played a crucial role in helping me not to feel lonely—and I am far from alone in this. ricki Heicklen, a junior at SAr, has found that “the group is an incredible haven for teenage feminists to openly discuss their thoughts with one another. I am frequently in feminist environments, yet this forum is one of the only places I feel I can comfortably share my feelings about feminism without being judged or ridiculed. It’s such a phenomenal medium for discussion, and it allows me to share everything I’ve always felt and never had a place to say.”
It has been fascinating to see what issues we disagree about most, and which values we all share. For example, the idea of women wearing tefillin, which is not common among older Orthodox feminists, has been something we all support; several of the members of the group have worn tefillin before, and many more of us plan to in the future. Ironically, it has been our discussions of clothes and relationships that are the most frequent and contentious. Tzniut is among the favorite topics of the group, and we have together written paragraphs upon paragraphs exploring the nuances of the social versus halakhic status of pants, the implications of day school dress codes, and the radically different observances of tzniut by members of the group. We have also spent a great deal of time dealing with high school relationships and shmirat negiah, along with “classic” Orthodox feminist topics such as titles for female spiritual leaders.
Our members come from a variety of backgrounds and places, identifying as Orthodox, Conservative, and, reform, with many who hover between denominations or actively reject labels, and are from three continents. We come from public schools and Orthodox day schools; some of us have had years of Jewish education, and some are just beginning to study Torah seriously.
Our group is not solely female; for example, Josh rosenbaum, a senior and student council president at maimonides School in Boston and regional president of new england nCSY, is among the most active members. “As a male feminist, I have often found myself isolated in a female-dominated movement. A few months of being the only active male participant in Teenage Orthodox Feminists taught me … that my gender was irrelevant to the issue at hand. … The discussions and debates I have had over the past few months have allowed me to learn and to teach, to inspire and be inspired, but most of all, to stand up for what I believe in and further myself on the path to becoming the best advocate of equality I could possibly be.”
We have all found more than we thought possible through our keyboards and screens. The Internet has been a medium for powerful connection, even personal growth. As we tap away on our laptops and phones, more than eighty-five teenagers have begun to build a network that I have no doubt will help us change the world.