When I sit at a JOFA Board meeting I am always struck anew by the diversity of women who sit around the table. All Orthodox Jewish women but practicing in different ways. There are those who wear pants and those who don’t. There are some who cover their heads and some who do not. There are those who want to storm a building in order to be heard and make change and those who want change to happen more slowly. They are all wonderful women—a microcosm of our greater JOFA constituency. And yet we are united. What unites us is that we all take our religion seriously and work together on common goals.
We were all created in God’s image. To be beautiful. Making ourselves beautiful is a form of hiddur mitzvah. Whatever our individual positions, we all worry about how we relate to our children, particularly our daughters and granddaughters. We want them to have a healthy relationship to their bodies and their appearance without obsessing over them.
I am one of four children. My mother loved to see us dressed beautifully and took such pride in us. She used to tell people that we were her four masterpieces. If we dressed in a way she didn’t approve of, she would tell us it was like painting a blotch over a Rembrandt. She gave us a wonderful sense of self.
I grew up at a time when Orthodoxy was less defined by dress and appearance. Our Jewish day school allowed cheerleaders (I was one) who wore short skirts to basketball games. I went to an Orthodox camp that had “mixed” swimming every day—and shiurim.
Today the Orthodox Jewish world is different. I would be less than honest if I did not confess that all this covering up gives me pause. Last summer when I took my granddaughter shopping for camp she told me how wide the sleeve on her tee shirt had to be. I was surprised that a child was so conscious of how her body was being perceived, and what parts needed to be covered.
I know some of you will find my words controversial because in today’s society we are expected to conform to stricter observances. I am trying to be less judgmental about the emphasis on covering up. And in turn, I would like for others not to define me by the length of my skirt and sleeves.
This journal contains a range of pieces exploring the relationship we as Orthodox women have to clothing, appearance and our physical selves, and looks at some of the views on these issues that are to be found in our sources. I hope that these honest and sincere pieces expressing different views will spark serious conversations and help us better understand each other’s perspectives.