When my second daughter was born, a group of Jewish husbands in the hospital wanted to name their daughters immediately. So they left their wives and newborn daughters and trekked to a small local synagogue. It was a synagogue they had never set foot in before and would never set foot in again, a synagogue empty of relatives, friends, or familiar faces. Yet it was a synagogue that offered an aliyah and mi shebeirakh to name their daughters as members of Israel.
Sharon R. Siegel’s newly published book, A Jewish Ceremony for Newborn Girls, observes that “[w]hen a girl is born … [t]he public expression of happiness is subdued.” In fact, newborn girls often lack any independent celebration directly linked to their naming.
After a thorough analysis of past customs for birthing mothers and newborn babies, Siegel shows that the only surviving Ashkenazi customs for birthing mothers are the husband’s aliyah and mi shebeirakh, wherein a Jewish name is assigned to the baby girl. This custom conflates the focus on the birthing mother with that on the new baby, who are both frequently not present for the ritual.
Siegel evaluates the current simhat bat ceremonies as inadequate, mainly due to the lack of covenantal ritual and theme. Through a close reading of a wide range of Jewish texts, Siegel argues that women, like men, are members of the covenant, “the central pillar of Jewish faith,” which embodies “the Jewish people’s fidelity to God as the one and only God, and their agreement to keep God’s commandments, and God’s promise to keep the Jewish people as His people, make them multitudinous, and give them the land of Israel as an inheritance.”.
Drawing on customs from the past while seeking a solution to the dilemma she has noted, Siegel develops the Brit Bat ceremony. The key components of the Brit Bat are a covenantal theme, a first-and-only naming (eliminating the naming through mi shebeirakh in shul), an eighth-day timing, and a uniform liturgy. Siegel hopes that this ceremony will become “such a natural part of the Jewish life-cycle that no one could precisely pinpoint when this practice began to feel irrevocable, entrenched, and maybe even timeless.”
Will Siegel’s vision materialize? A uniform welcoming celebration would indeed provide the community with the resources to publicly celebrate the births of their daughters in a validating way. However, Siegel’s conclusion highlights the tension between the creativity and meaningfulness of looser ritual and the value of codifying tradition. The lack of established custom for celebrating the birth of a baby girl provides a rare opportunity for parents to creatively organize a ceremony reflective of their own values. Is the community interested in giving up the self-created style that the lack of set structure allows?
Regardless of one’s opinion, the many sources and texts in Siegel’s book provide the basis for a much needed conversation about the treatment our daughters receive as members of the Jewish community from their first moments. As she notes, “Engaging in a community-wide conversation about the future of Jewish practices for newborn girls presents a distinct opportunity for the entire Jewish community to work together toward a shared goal.”