Demystifying Sex & Teaching Halakha:
A Kallah Teacher's Workshop On Sunday, March 2, 2008, fifteen women--ranging in age from 25 to 52 and coming from as near as the Upper West Side to as far as Jerusalem--convened in New York for a ground breaking initiative. JOFA, in conjunction with Yeshivat Chovevei Torah and the Drisha Institute, presented an intensive kallah teachers' workshop unique in it's emphasis on a broad range of halakhic positions and open and frank discussions of sex. Kallah teachers are often on the front lines of preparing a kallah for her married life, and in some cases for their first sexual encouters. They can have a significant and lasting impact on the couple's sexual experience. Unfortunately, most kallah teachers are completely unprepared for their role, given information that is rudimentary at best, incorrect at worst. Often Kallah teachers are provided with limited, if any, halakhic options to discuss with participants and don't have the source background to understand fully what they are teaching. Additionally, many are uncomfortable talking openly and frankly about sex. For four days, participants spent time looking at primary halakhic sources and discussing a wide range of positions on issue of hilkhot niddah. They also explored some of their preconceived biases and came to understand the wide range of the human sexual response cycle. The program took place at the Drisha Institute. The faculty included Devorah Zlochower, Rabbi Dov Linzer, Sara Hurwitz and Rabbi Yaacov Love on Halakha; Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus on Sexuality; Shoshana Bulow on Sex and Communication; Dr. Valerie Perla on Reproduction and Birth Control; and, Dr. Michael Werner on Male Sexual Dysfunction. Facilitators' Testimonials
"We - the coordinators and presenters - were both amazed and humbled by the participants. They ranged in age from 25 - 52 and came from vastly different educational and religious backgrounds and communities. The respect that these women gave each other and the way in which they shared their experiences and turned to each other for information, resources and feedback was incredible." Participant Testimonials "We learn to keep kosher and to observe Shabbat by observing our families at home and others in the community. Our sense of sexuality also begins at home." "Together [with another participant] we will implement a series of kallah classes that will shatter the misconception that it is inappropriate to discuss sexual and emotional issues. Judaism is about laws and rituals, but feelings and attitudes must always be addressed within our halakhic system."
"I learned that it is important to provide an integrated approach to education that takes into account a couple's entire life experience together. Teaching about niddah is only a piece of the puzzle. Learning how to navigate time apart from each other is just as important as focusing on the other half of the month."
Read More
See the article in the New York Jewish Week
Read the article in Boston's Jewish Advocate
Read a participant's story in the Baltimore Jewish Times
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