JOFA: Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance | Frequently Asked Questions

Note: To get the most out of this section, we suggest you read through all the questions and answers provided. For your convenience, questions are loosely grouped by subject:

I. CIVIL DIVORCE AND JEWISH DIVORCE
1. WHAT DIFFERENCES EXIST BETWEEN CIVIL DIVORCE AND JEWISH DIVORCE?
Every divorce has several components: (1) the marital status of the parties; (2) division of property; and, (3) custody of minor children.

In both Jewish and civil law, divorce, or the dissolution of a marriage, comes about through the acts of the parties and/or entities that initially established the marriage. Thus, in civil law, marriage is formalized through the establishment of the state and its dissolution is ultimately formalized by the state as well. In Jewish law, marriage requires certain actions by two individuals and thus may only be dissolved through acts by these two individuals.

Under United States civil law, marital status is established by the state. The state issues a license to marry. After the marriage ceremony has been completed, the person legally authorized to perform the marriage ceremony files the license with the state registry and the couple is considered civilly married. If that couple later divorces, the state, through its courts, changes the status of the parties to divorced. A determination is made, either by the couple or by the court, about division of property and custody of children.

Under Jewish law, marital status is based on a contractual agreement between the husband and wife; therefore, a Jewish marriage can only be dissolved by contract between the spouses. In contrast to civil law, the beit din does not formally dissolve a marriage, though it does play an indispensable role in facilitating the writing of the Get and witnessing its delivery. Moreover, only if the divorce is contested does the beit din involve itself in other details of the divorce agreement. (See V:3, and Beit Din Comparison Grid Section.)

When a religious divorce is not contested by either party, the procedure is quite simple: a sofer writes a Get in the name of the husband. While all gittin follow a standard formula, a Get must be handscribed by the sofer for each individual proceeding. The husband then delivers the Get to his wife and she accepts it. The marriage is dissolved and the couple is then divorced according to Jewish law.

Unless a Get has been given by the husband and accepted by the wife according to Jewish law, an individual remains religiously married notwithstanding a civil divorce. Conversely, one can be religiously divorced by means of a Get, yet remain civilly married.

Since most Jewish couples in the United States are married under both civil and religious law, they are obligated to divorce under the laws of both legal systems to completely dissolve their marriage.

II. GET
1. WHAT IS A GET?
A Get is a writ of Jewish divorce. It is a 12-line document, written by hand on paper by a professionally trained scribe at the request of the husband. It is written under the proper supervision of a beit din versed in the halakhah of Gittin in the presence of two witnesses. A Get may only be presented by a husband to his wife, however, there is no halakhic impediment to a woman contacting the beit din to initiate the divorce proceeding.

It is imperative that the Get be properly prepared by a beit din in accordance with Jewish law. (See Comments and Cautions Section).

2.WHAT EXPENSES MAY BE INCURRED IN OBTAINING A GET?
Fees for a standard Get vary. Some batei din have a flat fee and some charge an hourly rate. The beit din may take the parties' financial situation into account in determining its fee. A few batei din do not charge a fee for facilitating a Get.

3. WHAT OCCURS DURING THE ACTUAL TRANSFER OF THE GET?

The husband authorizes a sofer to write the Get. The sofer writes the Get on paper with a quill, usually while the parties wait. Two witnesses must then sign the Get.
The husband (or his agent) declares that he is giving the Get of his own free will. When the wife receives the Get she must also state, in the presence of two witnesses, that she accepts the Get of her own free will.
When the Get is given to the wife, she cups her hands and the husband (or his agent) drops the Get into her hands. She indicates acceptance of the Get by raising it up, then putting it under her arm and walking a few steps.
The wife then gives the Get to a dayyan. The dayyan makes a cut in the Get to indicate that it has been delivered and accepted and cannot be used again by any other party. A declaration is made by the dayyan that no one shall cast doubts on the validity of the Get. The Get is then put into the files of the beit din.

Note: There may be slight variations in this procedure depending on the beit din.

The Get must be given willingly by the husband, without coercion, and it must be accepted willingly by the wife. Opinions differ as to what constitutes persuasion and what constitutes coercion.

Usually a husband places the Get directly into his wife's hands. However, in cases where the husband and wife no longer live in close proximity, when there is acrimony between husband and wife, or when there has been spousal abuse, it is permissible for the husband to appoint an agent -called a shaliach - to order the Get, deliver the Get, or both. Although halakhah permits the appointment of an agent to accept the Get for the wife, in practice this is not done.

4. WHY IS A GET REQUIRED?
A woman who was married by kiddushin but did not receive a Get is considered by Jewish law to be an aishet ish and still married to her first husband, notwithstanding a civil divorce. If the woman subsequently has children with another man, those children may have the status of mamzer. (One who has the status of mamzer and all of his/her descendants may only marry other mamzerim.)

While it is forbidden for a man to remarry without having given his first wife a Get, some rabbis, under certain circumstances, will allow him to remarry. There are no adverse consequences to children born of a man's subsequent marriage, even if he has not given his wife a Get, as these children are not considered mamzerim.

5. WHAT ARE THE HALAKHIC REQUIREMENTS INVOLVED IN A GET PROCEEDING?

The Get must be given and received without coercion, as defined by Jewish law.
The transfer of the Get must be supervised by a beit din that is competent in the area of gittin and must be witnessed by two acceptable adult male witnesses.
The Get must be written by a trained sofer who follows the prescribed formula.
The Get must contain all the names by which the parties and their fathers have been known, including their nicknames. The full names of all parties should be included in the Get and if possible, the ketubbah or a copy of it should be checked for the names that were used within it. Identification should be provided to the beit din to establish the identity of the parties. As the Get includes information about whether one is a kohen or levi, such determination should be made prior to appearing before the beit din.
The Get must also include the name of the city in which the Get is being written, and the name of the nearest body of water.

6. WHAT IF A HUSBAND DISAPPEARS WITHOUT GIVING HIS WIFE A GET?
If a husband disappears without giving his wife a Get, every effort must be made to find him, including sending mail to his last known address and exploring all sources of information about his whereabouts. There is also an international e-mail listserv, Gettlink, that facilitates communication among agunah activists worldwide. If a husband cannot be found, his description may be put on this listserv by contacting any one of the member organizations. (Contact JOFA for additional information about Gettlink.)

Note: If a husband flees to Israel without giving his wife a Get, there may be recourse in Israel's courts, though this may be an expensive process. There are organizations in Israel that can be of assistance.

If a husband is deemed missing, and there is reason to believe he may have died, some rabbis may rule that he is deceased and thus allow the wife to remarry. The rabbis may act leniently in order to prevent a woman from being an agunah, by employing the Talmudic principal ?mi-shum iggunah akilu bah rabbanan.? This leniency was employed following the sinking of the Israeli submarine Dakar and following the destruction of the World Trade Center, when wives were deemed free to remarry based on the presumed death of their husbands even absent direct testimony.

In the absence of a Get, the death of a husband, or a rabbinical ruling freeing a woman for the purpose of remarriage, a woman may become an agunah.

7. ARE THERE CIRCUMSTANCES IN WHICH A WOMAN SHOULD REFUSE TO ACCEPT A GET?
It is advisable for a woman to refuse a Get if the Get itself is defective, i.e., the names in the Get are incorrect, or if the Get is being processed in a beit din that is not generally recognized as competent in matters of divorce. It may also be legitimate to refuse to accept a Get if the woman will be compelled to also accept an unconscionable settlement with regard to spousal and/or child support or custody. Another circumstance in which it may be recommended for a woman to refuse to accept a Get is a situation in which the Get is based on false allegations against the woman.

A woman's refusal to accept a Get may form the basis for a heter me'ah rabbanim, which would permit a man to remarry prior to his wife's acceptance of a Get. (See V:4.) If a heter me'ah rabbanim is issued, a valid Get must be deposited with the beit din issuing the heter for delivery to the wife when she is willing or able to accept it. Many batei din are lax in their enforcement of the requirement that a valid Get be deposited with them A beit din that issues a heter me'ah rabbanim is obligated to investigate whether the woman was offered a valid Get and the circumstances under which she refused, however, not all batei din undertake such an investigation.

Note: The decision to refuse to accept a Get is a significant one and should only be undertaken with a great deal of forethought and in consultation with an attorney and a rabbi.

8. ONCE A GET IS WRITTEN, IS THE COUPLE DIVORCED?
No. Once a divorce has been initiated, only the receipt and acceptance of the Get by the wife effects a final religious divorce. Some batei din may encourage the husband to have the Get written and placed in escrow with the beit din for the pendency of the civil divorce. Although a Get can be revoked at any time prior to its delivery to the wife, it is still better to have it written and placed in escrow than to risk the husband's ultimate disappearance or refusal to write one. Some batei din may try to prevail upon the husband to release the Get even absent a final civil divorce if the divorce proceeding is taking a long time. Other batei din will deliver the Get to the wife and will effect the Jewish divorce, but withhold the ptur, which would enable both spouses to remarry, until the civil decree of divorce is rendered. (See II:9.)

Withholding a Get that is written but not delivered can still be used to exert pressure on the wife in relation to issues of spousal and/or child support and custody in civil court.

The final step in the Get process is the issuing of a document called a ptur, which is a receipt acknowledging that both parties are divorced according to Jewish law and are free to remarry.

9. WHAT IS A PTUR?
A ptur is a document issued by a beit din indicating that a man and woman are divorced according to Jewish law and allowing them to remarry. Batei din have different practices about whether they will mail a ptur or require parties to pick it up. Before choosing a beit din, it is advisable to inquire as to the beit din's approach to issuance of the ptur. Parties intending to pursue romantic relationships prior to the issuance of a ptur should consult a rabbi.

Notwithstanding the receipt of a ptur, a woman must still wait 90 days after receiving the Get before remarrying. In certain situations, some batei din will count the 90 days beginning with the writing of the Get, rather than the date of its receipt. If a civil divorce is finalized prior to the receipt of the Get, some rabbis may begin counting the 90 days from the finalization of the civil divorce.

10. WHEN DOES A DIVORCING WOMAN RECEIVE HER PTUR?
Generally, pturim are issued to both spouses after the Get has been received and the civil divorce has been finalized. Some batei din, on consent of the husband, may release the pturim after receipt of the Get but prior to the finalization of the civil divorce.

11. IS THERE A CENTRAL GET REGISTRY?
There is no central Get registry in the United States. There is one in Israel for divorces that take place in Israel. Some U.S. divorces have been reported to have been registered in Israel.

12. DOES THE LACK OF A CENTRAL GET REGISTRY PRESENT A PROBLEM?
It can. Some U.S. batei din do not keep records. Some batei din keep records but accessing those records is difficult, if not impossible, for various reasons, i.e., disorganized record keeping practices, unavailability of the record keeper through death or incapacity, or problems affecting access to the location of the records. For reasons discussed previously, flawed or incomplete records of a Jewish divorce may have serious effects on future generations. It is thus advisable for both husband and wife to retain original documents in a safe and secure place so as to avoid loss, damage or theft. It is also wise to make multiple copies of the ptur and keep the copies in different places.

13. ARE THERE ALTERNATIVES TO A GET IN DISSOLVING A JEWISH MARRIAGE?
A great deal of thought and energy has been directed to addressing problems arising from the inequitable system of giving and receiving a Get by investigating possible alternatives to a Get.

The following are some of those potential alternatives:

A determination of kiddushei ta'ut can be made by a beit din to void a marriage when the marriage is deemed to have been invalid from the outset because it was based on a mistake. This determination stems from the Talmudic principle of mekach ta'ut?a mistaken transaction.
A marriage may be voided under the theory of kiddushei ta'ut when: (1) the husband has a pre-existing condition (mum) unknown to the wife, or hidden from her (mum nistar), that is serious enough that had a rational person known about the condition, he/she would not have entered into the marriage; and, (2) there is proof that the condition was present before the marriage.
If, following the marriage ceremony, the wife discovered the condition and nevertheless continued to live with her husband, she may be deemed to have waived a claim of kiddushei ta'ut.
Note: There is a halakhic presumption that a woman prefers any marriage to being single (tav l'metav tandu me'l'metav armelu). In light of this presumption, some batei din may be reluctant to make a determination of kiddushei ta'ut, despite a wife's testimony to the contrary.
A theory has been put forth recently that a beit din is a party to a marriage and can therefore annul a marriage. This theory is still being developed and is the subject of much debate.
A Talmudic method, hafka'at kiddushin, is an annulment based on limited circumstances.
If an Orthodox rabbi did not officiate at the initial marriage ceremony, some halakhic authorities may not require a Get to dissolve the religious marriage.

III. BEIT DIN
Often a person's first experience with a beit din occurs when he/she seeks a religious divorce. Many people are unfamiliar with differences in procedure, language and personnel between batei din. These differences may significantly impact one's experience with a beit din, and, as such, should be given serious consideration before one chooses a particular beit din.

1. WHAT IS A BEIT DIN?
A beit din is a Jewish rabbinic court that deals with various business related and commercial disputes, as well as matters of personal status, i.e., divorce. A beit din is comprised of three halakhically qualified men called dayyanim.

2. ARE BATEI DIN LICENSED BY THE STATE?
No. Batei din are neither licensed nor regulated by the state. Nonetheless, certain determinations by batei din may be considered binding in civil court.

3. ARE BATEI DIN REGULATED?
A beit din may be regulated by the organization that sponsors it, (for example, the Beth Din of America may be regulated by its sponsoring organization the Rabbinical Council of America), but usually the parent organization will allow the beit din to establish its own rules and procedures.

4. ARE BATEI DIN INDEPENDENT ENTITIES OR PART OF LARGER ORGANIZATIONS?
Batei din may be sponsored by local or national organizations, i.e., the Union of Orthodox Rabbis of the U.S. and Canada/Agudath HaRabonim, but batei din may also be formed on an ad hoc basis to hear a particular case, such as a zabla beit din. (See III:9.) Some problems that may arise with ad hoc batei din include a lack of oversight by a sponsoring organization, inaccessibility of the dayyanim, who may be difficult to find once the beit din has dissolved, and unavailability of records due to poor record keeping practices.

5. ARE THERE UNIFORM PRACTICES AMONG BATEI DIN?
Most of the practices and procedures encountered in the beit din are dictated by halakhah. Batei din are also governed by formal or informal local customs and norms that may result in different procedures among different batei din. It is difficult to ascertain the precise basis for each beit din's practice, as this information is not generally recorded.

Note : In light of the potential for differing approaches and practices among different batei din, it is advisable to work with a well-established and long-standing beit din with consistent procedures and practices.

6. ARE THERE UNIFORM RECORD KEEPING PRACTICES AMONG BATEI DIN?
No. Each beit din decides how it will maintain its own records, and records in some batei din are not computerized. Some batei din are convened for one particular case, and there are no uniform rules as to how or where records from that beit din are maintained. (See III:9.) We advise that each litigant keep records for him/herself of the full name of the beit din, the names of all the dayyanim, the names and addresses of any witnesses, name of the scribe, a list of all other people present at the proceeding, and the location, date and time of all proceedings.

7. WHICH DOCUMENTS, GENERATED BY THE BEIT DIN, IS THE WIFE ENTITLED TO RECEIVE?
Each beit din has its own practices with respect to which documents are provided to the parties. Be sure to make inquiry of your specific beit din as to which documents you may have, and ask that copies be made for you. It is essential that a copy of the ptur is obtained from the beit din.

8. MUST BOTH PARTIES TO A DIVORCE APPEAR BEFORE THE BEIT DIN CHOSEN BY THE INITIATING PARTY?
A person is not compelled to submit to the beit din chosen by the other party, however, he/she must answer the initial hazmanah of that beit din. If the purpose of the hazmanah is solely to bring the wife to the beit din to receive the Get, it may not be worthwhile to contest the husband's choice of beit din. However if the beit din is addressing issues of spousal and/or child support and custody, the choice of beit din becomes much more significant.

If you don't agree to the initiating party's choice of beit din, try to come to the beit din prepared with suggestions of batei din that would be acceptable to you. If the initiating party does not agree to adjourn to one of those batei din, a zabla beit din may need to be established.

9. WHAT IS A ZABLA BEIT DIN?
If a situation arises where a husband and wife are unable to agree on an existing beit din, they may be forced to convene a zabla beit din to facilitate their divorce. A zabla beit din is an ad hoc beit din that may be established to hear a particular case. In such a case one dayyan is chosen by the husband and one dayyan is chosen by the wife. The two dayyanim then choose a third dayyan to sit with them.

There are several obvious reasons to avoid a zabla beit din, including the absence of a parent organization and the oversight it may provide, unknown record-keeping practices, and the fact that the beit din has no track record to consider. Nevertheless, there are times when a zabla beit din may better serve a woman's interests than a standing beit din that is known to be inequitable towards women.

10. HOW SHOULD ONE CHOOSE A BEIT DIN?
If a litigant is comfortable doing so, the litigant may ask a community rabbi to recommend several possible batei din. (See General Comments and Cautions Section regarding discussions with rabbis.) We recommend that a litigant make inquiry of any batei din he/she is considering before making a final determination. A review of the FAQs, the General Comments and Cautions, and the Beit Din Comparison Grid will educate a litigant as to the key questions to ask when calling a beit din to obtain information. Also, if possible, ASK others about their experience with different batei din in the context of obtaining a divorce.

DISCLAIMER
This Guidebook is solely for informational purposes.

This guidebook is not intended to replace consultation with a rabbi or an attorney, nor is it intended to give legal or halakhic advice.

JOFA does not assume any responsibility for actions taken by any person as a result of information in this Guidebook.

The inclusion of a beit din in the Comparison Grid does not constitute and should not be viewed as an endorsement by JOFA.

To obtain a free copy of JOFA's Guide to Jewish Divorce and the Beit Din System email agunah@jofa.org

The Guide to Jewish Divorce and the Beit Din System includes the following sections:

PLEASE NOTE: JOFA DOES NOT ENDORSE ANY PARTICULAR BEIT DIN



	ANY OF THE WORDS
	EXACT PHRASE
Advanced Search for Online Library

Click here to sign up for JOFA's email updates.